


The Card

by AZGirl



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29231106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AZGirl/pseuds/AZGirl
Summary: When Mac saw the paper, he was confused at first, but then registered that it seemed to be a homemade card. Takes place before episode 4.01“Fire + Ashes + Legacy = Phoenix.”
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	The Card

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be my Christmas offering for 2020, but the story took a left turn into Mega Angst-ville and isn’t really about Christmas anymore. 
> 
> *Note: This story takes place during the 18-month time jump between the 3rd and 4th seasons.

**ooooooo**

“It is never too late or too soon. It is when it is supposed to be.” ~~~~~ Mitch Ablom.

**ooooooo**

It was nearly 9 PM when Mac returned home after a very long day of teaching. Being the newest professor at the university, he was assigned primarily freshman classes, including the mid-week, three-hour evening section, which he could most definitely do without. 

Teaching wasn't like he thought it would be when he took the job after being black listed from government work. He thought he would be getting young, or at least younger than him, minds excited about science. Instead, the majority have been apathetic, only in the class to take care of a requirement to get a degree not related to science. Granted, he was a novice teacher, but he thought he was doing a decent job, not assigning too much homework and creating fun demonstrations of the principles being taught that day. Yet, class after class there was only disinterest.

To be honest, he was already more than discouraged. He still loves the science, but teaching it was obviously something he was not meant to do. The problem was he didn't know what he should do now that he wasn't a government agent, wasn’t helping and protecting people. 

Making things worse was that, not long after he and Desi started dating, the Phoenix was shut down. Everyone lost their jobs and too many people, including him, lost their security clearance which was essential to getting more government work. 

Once the Phoenix was shut down, everyone basically went their own separate ways and had not kept in contact. Or barely keep in contact as in the case with him and Bozer. It wasn't all their fault as he could've done a better job keeping in touch, but everyone seemed to take the loss of the Phoenix hard and he didn't want to bring up bad memories. He still felt like the situation was his fault because he hadn't managed to catch Mason.

Without the adrenaline and excitement of their old jobs, the relationship he and Desi had forged imploded pretty quickly. Desi basically hated him now, and blamed him, not only for the breakup, but for her being unable to get another job with the government. 

His relationship with his father… Suffice it to say that he ignored every attempt the man made to get in contact with him. Eventually, the attempts stopped, and he had felt abandoned all over again despite it being his choice to not attempt to resolve their problems. They had been doing so well, getting to know each other again, and then Mason came along and exposed a truth about his father that he couldn’t ignore or condone. 

Needless to say, with his friends scattered to the four winds, and his relationship with Desi ended, his life became rather lonely and introverted. And he'd started drinking more. Where once he would drink two beers at most when hanging out with his friends, now he was downing three or more a night, often making the alcohol his dinner.

Compounding the problem was his inability to cook, which led to simple meals like sandwiches and an embarrassing amount of take out. With no one coming over any longer, he even stopped caring about keeping his house all that tidy and clean.

Eventually, the quiet of his house got to him, and he decided to get a teaching job. He had more than enough money saved to get by for a while longer, but he needed something to do, needed some interaction, needed to feel useful once more.

The holidays didn't help his mood either. Not only was it his first without Jack since they got out of the Army, but he didn't have anyone to celebrate with. Bozer wasn't even going home to Mission City for more than Christmas day because he was shooting a film. 

He could honestly say that he was at his lowest that Christmas. No word from or about Jack. Ditto Riley, Matty, and Desi – not that he'd expected to hear from his ex. Bozer with his family. His father hadn't even made an attempt to get in touch. 

On Christmas day, he stayed in his room pretty much all day, not bothering to get out of bed unless his bladder or stomach insisted. In between watching various documentaries, he thought about the last Christmas he spent with Jack in the house, the one where they were almost killed by the Ghost's bomb under his house. That Christmas had brought up his first meeting with Jack back in the sandbox, and thinking about it now only made him miss the older man that much more. 

There was no Christmas miracle that day. No calls or texts from his friends. No surprise visit or contact from Jack.

He spent the day alone and went back to sleep as soon as it got dark out, hoping to forget how pathetic and lonely he'd felt that whole day.

New Year’s. Valentine's day. His birthday. Easter. As more holidays passed, he found he was mostly getting used to the loneliness. 

And now it was May, he pretty much stuck to a routine centered around his current teaching schedule. Wake up, teach class, grade papers, drink beer, sometimes eat, sleep. And repeat. It wasn't much of a life, but it was his for now.

As Mac approached his front door, he noticed something that looked like a brown envelope lying on the doormat. He approached it cautiously, making sure to continuously check his surroundings as there was always a chance that the situation was a trap even though he was no longer a government agent. Mac could think of more than a few people who would love to get revenge on him, especially given how vulnerable he now was without the government’s backing.

When he reached the envelope, he checked for indications of a trap, but found none. He carefully turned it over and saw his name typewritten on the front with no postmark or return address, indicating it had been hand delivered. After another check of the immediate area around the envelope, he picked it up. 

Though he was curious as to the contents, he decided to wait until he was inside his house before opening the envelope. To be on the safe side, he even did a check of his house to make sure he was alone and nothing had been disturbed. 

Reasonably certain he was alone, and he wasn’t about to spring a trap, Mac turned on a single, overhead light and sat at the kitchen counter before carefully opening the envelope and removing the folded piece of paper that was inside. 

When he saw the paper, he was confused at first, but then registered that it seemed to be a homemade Christmas card. A very crude one made out of a half sheet of copy paper. On the front was a Christmas tree drawn with a black Sharpie that had paper clip-like shapes in blue ink all over it as ornaments. 

Still confused, he opened the card and nearly dropped it when he recognized the handwriting. 

Jack. 

It was Jack’s messy scrawl of handwriting on the inside. 

He hadn’t heard from or about Jack since the Phoenix was disbanded. Mac figured the communications blackout was a side effect of losing his security clearance, but he could never be certain, and sometimes wondered if something had happened to his friend. All he knew was that he basically missed Jack all of the time, even when he wasn’t consciously thinking of the older man. 

Mac read through the letter, his eyes skipping over the words at a speed where he was barely taking them in, in his eagerness for news about Jack. Mostly he was looking for some clue as to when the older man would be coming home. He read so quickly that he realized he wasn’t really comprehending anything - basically only the seeing words, phrases, and sentences crammed together in a messy scrawl. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before starting over, slowing down and making sure to read the only words he’s had from Jack in far too long. 

_Wonderkid - I know you've probably already corrected me in that big brain of yours, but it’s not a mistake, bud. Had to come up with nicknames of people I might write to/about before I left. Operational security and all. Been nearly impossible to get in touch, but lucky for us – not so much for my teammate – one of the team was injured. I swear I’m fine! It was a stupid accident, but it’s bad enough they have to be shipped home. All of us decided to take advantage and get word home to our families. Hope this makes it to ya by Xmas. Merry Christmas! Do me a favor? Yippee-ki-yay! Get it? Running out of room & I still have so much I want to say. Can’t tell ya how much I’ve missed you & the others, especially Skee. Not that I don’t miss Chef & Dancer too. How’s things going with Letterman? Hope the Newbie is doing their job right. Wish I could tell you what’s been going on or when I’m coming home... It’s killing me that I can’t be there for you. A part of me is missing all of the time. Hope you’re taking care of yourself & staying out of trouble as much as possible given the job. I’ll make contact with you when I can -- Knuckle-dragger._

Mac had barely finished reading Jack’s signature, when something splashed onto the paper. Obviously a tear, but what hadn’t been obvious was when he’d started crying. He grabbed for the likely-dirty dish towel and let it soak up the tear before it could do more damage to the card. As another tear slipped down his face, he brushed it away with his other hand, forcing himself to tamp down the surge of emotions Jack’s words had invoked. 

He hadn’t realized how hard it would be to read the letter, and couldn’t help but wonder what was worse: radio silence or this short note? The more he thought about it, the more he decided both were their own forms of torture. 

Radio silence meant he had no clue how the mission to get Kovacs was going or how Jack was fairing on any given day. No idea whether or not Jack was alive. But it also allowed him to pretend the man was somewhere safe, somewhere enjoying life, perhaps even retired, and only a phone call away at any given time. 

This short note… It was just as torturous in his mind. Perhaps even more so.

It basically burst that bubble of ignorance about where Jack was and what he was doing even if it didn't actually reveal anything. Operational security dictated that there be no real details, and it basically only confirmed Jack had been alive before Christmas last year. His friend could be anywhere, and anything could’ve happened to Jack since then. He figured that Jack’s family would notify him if…

MacGyver wrenched his mind away from that train of thought. He had learned to live without Jack in his daily life, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss his friend’s presence nearly all of the time. And it was way too soon for Jack to be… He closed his eyes and took a calming breath, exhaling slowly. When that didn't help, he got up and went to his refrigerator to grab his first beer of the night. After a couple of gulps, he forced his mind back to the too-short note.

From the context, it sounded as if Jack only had time to write one note, and he should let the others mentioned within know about it, but he just couldn’t bring himself to make contact. What was the point? He couldn't remember the last time he talked to Riley, who Jack had nicknamed Skee. Of everyone mentioned, she had the most right to know what Jack had said, but if it was torturous to him, he could only imagine how bad it would be to Riley. After another moment of thought, Mac decided to not tell anyone about the note. He knew the decision was totally selfish, but at this point in time, he didn't care. 

Mac read the note for a third time, and finally registered Jack asking him to watch _Die Hard_ as a favor. It was their Christmas – or thereabouts, depending on the job – tradition to watch the film together. And, even though it had been several months since the Christmas season had ended he thought, “Why not?”

He closed the card and laid it on the counter, resting his hand on it for the longest moment before standing up, grabbing his half-finished beer, and moving towards the TV. Mac got out the DVD of _Die Hard_ and put it into his player, hitting _Play_ on the remote.

As the movie started, he finished off the beer in his hand, and before John McClane's plane could finish landing less than fifteen seconds in, Mac paused the film to go get another beer. Bringing back two, he pressed _Play_ again, and took a sip of one of his beers. Barely thirty seconds later, after catching his first glimpse of Bruce Willis, Mac snatched up the remote and turned off the TV, unable to watch any more of the movie. Every single frame of that film held too many fond memories, and his current – for a definition of current that lasted more than a month – frame of mind. 

Grabbing both of his beers, he headed outside to the deck and sat down beside the fire pit, not bothering to light a fire on such a warm night. As he finished off his second beer, he looked up at the night sky, trying to ignore the good memories of the many nights spent talking with his friends around the fire pit in front of him. He failed at that too and went back into the house, detouring towards the refrigerator for yet another beer before heading towards his bedroom. 

He took a quick shower before changing into the clothes he used as pyjamas. He grabbed one of the books he'd been reading and opened his third beer. Reading had become his solace in recent months, because it was a solitary activity that had no memories of his friends connected to it. Granted, he had books his friends had given him over the years, but he made sure to stay away from those lest he become even more disheartened than he already was. Not that that would be too difficult at this juncture. 

His thoughts kept drifting to the card Jack had sent him, and more than once Mac considered going to get it, to read it again despite having already memorized every word. In the end, he stayed in bed reading his book and finishing off the beers he’d brought in with him. 

Once the beers were gone, he only read a few more pages before deciding to go to sleep. He was tempted to go out to the kitchen for more beer, but knew he was already on a very slippery slope in regards to his drinking, and decided against it. It occurred to him that he should have something more for dinner than beer, but he couldn't really be bothered and wasn't really hungry anyway.

After a trip to the bathroom, Mac got under his bed covers and made himself comfortable, hoping to quickly fall asleep in hopes he could forget about lonely life for a few hours. Perhaps he could even have good dreams for a change.

In the end, Mac spent most of the night awake, thinking about his Christmas card from Jack, wondering if he would ever see or hear from his friend again. 

ooooooo

**_The end._ **

**ooooooo**

About the Nicknames: (I tried to choose ones I thought Jack would come up with.)

– _Wonderkid_ and _Knuckle-dragger_ : Mac and Jack. A reference to episode 2.12 “Mack + Jack” when a flashback shows how the guys first met.

– _Skee_ : Riley. A reference to the fact that Riley and Jack would go out for pizza and play Skee ball.

– _Chef_ : Bozer: A reference to all of the cooking we’ve seen the character do and/or talk about on the show.

– _Dancer_ : Matty: This was the most difficult one to choose, because any reference to Matty the Hun (or Attila the Hun for that matter) would easily lead back to Matty. And, in my mind, ditto for “Waltzer” because it was too close to the song title “Waltzing Matilda.” I thought “Dancer” was different enough to work and still be recognizable to Mac.

– _Letterman_ : James MacGyver. A reference to the letter Mac wrote to his father in the first season and the subsequent search for the man in the second season.

– _Newbie_ : Desi. A too-obvious choice for the newest member of the team.

ooooooo

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story before I even knew anything about episode 5.05 “Jack + Kinematics + Safe Cracker + MgKNO3 + GTO.” Once I did know about it, I decided to wait and post this story so it wouldn’t get lost among the episode tags and fix-it fics I knew would be coming. 
> 
> Many thanks to Celticgal1041 for proofing. Any remaining mistakes are my fault. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> *Please do not repost or use this or any of my other works on another site or app without my knowledge or consent. FanFiction and Archive of Our Own are the only two sites (as AZGirl on both) where my fiction should be posted. Thank you!


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